Tuesday, June 26, 2018

This is 34

As I sit here at 11:20 on the eve of my 34th birthday, I can't help but reflect on my life thus far.  June is always a good check in for me.  It's half way through the year and the perfect time to let current accomplishments encourage me to finish out the second half of the year stronger than the first.  It is also a time for me to acknowledge areas that are not so much considered an accomplishment and the first thing that comes to mind is my new years resolution of going to bed earlier.  I guess that is one thing that I have yet to accomplish and now that I think of it, I should probably just throw in the towel on that theory all together.  It's just never going to happen and I'm fine with that.  You see here, while the whole going to bed early thing always has been a bit of a struggle, I can't help but take advantage of that time for me.  The kids are asleep, the house is quiet and my creative energy is at its peak.  The words and ideas just seem to flow to me and one of my favorite things to do at the end of a long day is sit down and write.  Whether writing out a blog post or just simply journaling, it confirms that my decision to blog again is proving to be one of the best decisions I have made for myself this year.  I can't tell you how proud I am of the strides that I have made.  I have pushed myself every single day to build something for me at a time where it didn't seem like I had the time at all.  But I pushed through and the growth, both personal and profession, has been a huge accomplishment.

The biggest thing that I have been working towards this year is finding more balance.  I desperately needed it and it's something that as a mother, I think we  all struggle with.  I remember talking to a friend not long ago about how the days were just so long and she said to me, "It's hard being just a mom."  When she said that, it stopped me and those words sunk deep down within.  I couldn't agree more but at the same time, I wasn't comfortable with the realization that I was just a mom and that was my life.  Finding the balance that I needed, taking more time for myself, seeing friends more often and having things that I am proud of has led me to being happier and a better person all around.  I enjoy moments more and truly love my life and what's ahead.  Everyone needs balance in their life whether you are a mom or not and I am so glad I found mine.

I would say that Loyal and I are at a strange point in our lives right now where we both want more out of life.  It's hard for me to put this out there because I don't want to ever come across as ungrateful but we want more time.  More time as a family and with each other.  Date nights have been far and few the past couple years and when we get them now, they are everything to us.  Aside from spending one on one time, we crave family time more than anything.  I don't know what it is but it seems like the further we get into our lives together, the faster it passes by.  The weekends come and go before we know it.  The vacations turn into memories far too quickly.  We just want more of it.  More family time.  More memories.  More out of life.  Loyal has been super busy with work for a while now which means that I am super busy with the kids and everything else.  We are both so ready to just live on vacation.  Is that too much to ask?? :)

I honestly couldn't be happier with my life.  I have been beyond blessed with the family that I have and the 3 babies of mine that picked me to be their mother.  So much of our time is spent laughing and making memories and enjoying life as it flies by.  There is nothing more that I could ask for.  (Except maybe that permanent vacation thing?)  Life is perfect in the most imperfect of ways.  So heres to the second half of the year, the better half, the beginning of 34!
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