Thursday, May 10, 2018

The truth about Motherhood

With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I wanted to share a few things that I have learned about being a mom.  I love my kids with every once of my being but they don't always make raising them easy.  From the unexpected to the nitty gritty moments that moms don't warn you about, I'm laying it all out for you with some mom-to-mom real talk.

1. Motherhood is hard.  Like, really hard.  Every single stage of motherhood brings a new level of exhaustion that I never knew existed.  From the day you bring your newborn home and are trying to figure everything out for the first time to being right in the thick of it with the terrible two's (don't even get me started on the three's!) to the hustle and bustle of after school activities, you are forever running the motherhood marathon.  If there is anything that is
consistent throughout all phases of raising children, you are BUSY.  Non stop busy from the second you wake up to the second you fall asleep.  And on top of being so busy, you are tired and have kids that test your patience, you are dealing with tantrums while you're trying to figure it all out and for the life of you, you just want to sit down and enjoy a hot meal maybe once this week.  Being a mom is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done and sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  If you don't have kids and are reading this thinking that it can't be THIS bad, just take my word for it.

2. Speaking of exhaustion, you will never sleep again.  At the end of each phase of not sleeping, you will most likely get a glimpse of what it's like to sleep through the night again only to embrace a new phase that brings on another new reason for lack of sleep.  There are sleepless newborn nights, sleep regressions, colds, teething, trying to keep a toddler in their own bed throughout the night, wetting the bed while night potty training, nightmares...the list goes on.  And then once you are finally, FINALLY, sleeping once again...that is most likely when you will get pregnant again!  It's a vicious cycle. 

3. Say goodbye to having your shit together.  It may appear to others that you are doing it all effortlessly and flawlessly but behind the scenes we are all living the same truth.  MOM LIFE IS A MESS.  My house, my car, my appearance and basically my entire life is one big mess.  I always said that I would NEVER be this type of mom but somewhere along the way I ended up with chicken nuggets from who knows when under the back seat of my car, the playroom looking like a bomb went off in there and my hair unbrushed for a solid 2 days.  And you know what I've come to realize?  I can't get it together to save my life.

4.  One word for you.  Poop.  This is one part of parenting that I did not see coming.  I mean sure, I knew I would be changing diapers and wasn't really ever concerned about that but what I definitely didn't expect was the amount of poop that comes with children of all ages.  Poop is one thing I can't seem to escape!  When they are babies and poop mid diaper change so your natural instinct is to catch it, with your hands of course, because how else are you going to catch poop in a moments notice?  Kids poop in the bathtub.  They poop on the living room floor when you are potty training them because they are afraid to go poop in the actual potty and this always seems to happen the first second you look away, OF COURSE.  Kids take off their poopy diaper and walk out to tell you that they pooped and left their diaper in the playroom because naturally that's where anyone would leave it, right?  This shit is no joke.  Literally.

5. Punctuality is a thing of the past.  You will see me on most mornings turning into the school parking lot on 2 wheels while repeatedly explaining to my kids the importance of being on time and how that can effect the rest of their lives, as if they even care.  I really can't put my finger on why it is that we are always 2-5 minutes late (on a good day!) but the only thing I can come up with is KIDS.  The reasons are endless, really.  Someone lost one shoe, no one is dressed after I asked them no less than 18 times in the last 10 minutes, we are missing a backpack that was just sitting beside the front door 5 minutes ago, someone's thirsty, the kids are playing in the dirt on the way to the car and god forbid someone poops just as soon as you get everyone buckled in the damn car.  THAT is life, you guys.

6. Kids at some point become little assholes.  If you don't have kids or you just have a tiny baby who is not yet vocal, this may seem a little harsh.  Calling my kids assholes, sure that's a little jarring.  But if you do have kids and preferably somewhere in the age range of 2-5 then you are probably reading this thinking "AMEN."  My kids were very sweet prior to about  two and half, and still are a good bit of the time, but soon after 2, they became little spit fires with a mouth on them like no other.  I have never seen defiance like that of a 3 year old and let me tell you, there is nothing that will stop you in your tracks faster than asking your child to do something only to have them look you square in the eyes and tell you ever so boldly, "NO."  Once you finally snap back to reality and quickly realize that you need to get a handle on this shit, that is when you also realize that it is far too late and the never ending battle of toddler negotiation has just begun. 

7. Silence is golden.  Who ever thought that silence would be something we once took for granted?  I don't think that I ever really consider how truly beautiful silence was until I had 3 kids who all take turns shouting, screaming, yelling, crying, whining and projecting any other loud noise that comes out of their mouth.  Of course they have to have the TV volume all the way up because otherwise "they can't hear it" and simultaneously every single noise making toy is going off at the same time.  It's pretty much non stop noise for the entire day.  I mean bless their hearts with their excitement being at a level 10 but what ever happen to using an inside voice?  I never knew how much constant noise could be so mentally draining but I can assure you, it is.  There are times throughout the day that I, myself, want to scream and say "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAN WE ALL JUST BE QUIET FOR 5 MINUTES?"  If only that actually worked.  It doesn't, I've tried.

8. Raising kids can be defeating.  Here you are trying to make everyone happy and doing the best that you can do to raise respectful, well mannered children when in reality that just seems downright impossible sometimes.  There are nights when I come downstairs after getting the kids to bed and the house is an absolute wreck, dinner is still on the counter because they suddenly decided that they no longer like the meal that I've made for them countless times in the past and you look around and just want to throw your arms up.  It leaves you feeling like you're ready to just give up.  And sometimes I do give up.  I simply turn the lights out on that mess and go upstairs and go to bed because tomorrow will always bring a new day.  

9. Life isn't perfect.  This day and age is very difficult when it comes to raising your kids.  Gone are the days of just simply focusing on your family without comparing every little thing you are doing with everyone you follow on Facebook or Instagram.  You see everyone else's picture perfect life the way they want you to perceive it and here you are beating yourself up over your house being a mess and serving your kids cheese and crackers for dinner.  Some days are just hard.  Some days you are just downright exhausted and defeated and cheese and crackers for dinner is the best you can do.  Does it make you a bad parent? Heck no!  We've all been there.  I've accepted that things may not ever be perfect and that's ok.  It's a tough lesson to learn and one that takes time but I love my kids, I love my life and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

10.  It's all worth it.   Everything that I just wrote about and all the frustrations that come with raising children are all worth every singe second.  Motherhood wasn't meant to be a walk in the park because if it were that easy, we wouldn't take as much away from it.  Since becoming a mom, I have learned so much about myself and about who I am and what I can take on.  Raising these tiny little humans is definitely the hardest job I've ever had but by far the most rewarding.  They say that the days are long and the years are short.  I know that I am putting in work right now but I also know that one day I will be sending my kids off to college with nothing but pride in who they have become.  Who I have raised them to be.  I love those babies with every once of my being and the fact that they chose me to be their mommy is something that I will forever be grateful for.  Seeing them smile and laugh and love so unconditionally makes the tough days a tad bit easier.  It takes strength, patience and so much love to raise our children and we should all be proud of that!  Moms are very very special and we all deserve a pack on the back every once a while.  Without our children, we would never get to experience this beautiful mess that we call motherhood. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful women out there who show their strength and love every day while we raise our beautiful babies. Xo

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